Kathy Bates and Whoopi Goldberg Bring True Weight to Otherwise Flighty RomCom

Slam Dunks: On the heels of her best supporting actress Oscar nomination, Showtime has tapped Precious star Mo'Nique to host a special called "Shaquille O'Neal Presents: All-Star Comedy Jam." Shaq is expected to draw on his experience in "Space Jam" to prepare for the role. [Variety]

Uncle Nigel: Gary Cole stars in a the first-ever TBS comedy pilot as a Philly homicide detective who takes his bumbling nephew under his wing. From the creator of Monk. [THR]

Bringing the Gravity: Kathy Bates and Whoopi Goldberg are joining the cast of Earthbound, a romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson and Gael Garcia Bernal. We're not sure in what capacity exactly, because the plot kind of sounds, um, indecent: "Story centers on an irreverent young woman who unexpectedly falls in love with her doctor." [Variety]

No Comment: Celebrated actress Carrie Underwood will star in Soul Surfer, a drama based on the true story of teen surfing sensation and shark attack survivor Bethany Hamilton, alongside the equally august AnnaSophia Robb. Dennis Quaid and Helen Hunt also appear. [Variety]

Bill O'Reilly Points Aggressively at Jon Stewart

For the first time since 2004 (and maybe the second time ever?), Jon Stewart went on the Bill O'Reilly Factor to talk about serious matters like politics. By most accounts, Stewart's appearance is a knockout in his favor. He cuts to the chase of the matter, accusing O'Reilly's network of being a "cyclonic perpetual emotional machine" that has "taken reasonable concerns about this president and this economy and turned it into full-fledged panic attack about the next coming of Chairman Mao." Ouch. But don't think that Bill O'Reilly didn't fight back valiantly.

[jump] He brought out his trusty index finger, and did what he does best.

[video of O'Reilly pointing aggressively at Jon Stewart and Stewart saying "whoa, you've got like Ali's reach"]

[note: I don't know how Adam Raymond gets clips from the night's shows, but I would take this one from Gawker/wherever I could find it. It's the second one from the bottom and the clip I'm talking about above comes in around 00:20: http://gawker.com/5463782/jon-stewart-vs-bill-oreilly-round-one?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+gawker%2Ffull+%28Gawker%29&utm_content=Google+Reader]

[2nd note: I also would've been less of a Gawker copycat and picked out a phrase of Stewart's which appealed to me as the best takedown instead of just copying their quote but my internet was acting up and videos were pretty much unwatchable. The roommates and I have resolved to call Time Warner to correct this unacceptable lapse.]

Departure of McDonald's Leaves a Brooklyn Neighborhood Hungry, Unidentifiable

Proto-neighborhood RAMBO has been dealt a tough blow with the recent closure of its solitary eatery: a 24-hour McDonald's, which, despite all its shortcomings, served as much, much more than just your typical Brooklyn fast food joint. The RAMBO McDonald's was the only real identifying marker of the nascent quarter, and prior to a recent deletion, served as a historically redeeming piece of the neighborhood's now-four-sentence Wikipedia entrance. So, you see, this was not just a some trivial place where rambunctious RAMBOnians satisfied their late-night cravings, or where savvy Outer Brooklynites stopped in the early morning McGriddle-refuelings before a trip to Manhattan on a bridge of their choosing. This was so much more than a place for neighboring DUMBOites to enjoy a medium fry on a midday ramble.

[jump] This was a place where Intern Evan once desired to live.

One time in the past, a proud resident said: "In Rambo, you can be whoever you want. Rambo is limbo." At least it used to be.

But no longer. Even if that amazing 3-to-5-bedroom-convertible loft-space on the 4th floor of a window factory were to come back on the market, Intern Evan could not find the heart or wherewithal to convince 2 to 4 of his friends to move in. Without its McDonald's, RAMBO is an empty dream, one that no amount of First Blood posters plastered around the airy space could make up for. One can only hope that some Wendy's franchiser sees the opportunity. But that surely will never happen. Not unless Rambo V comes out before Sylvester Stallone's time on this earth expires.

Geithner and Feinberg's Hands Were Tied on Those 'Outrageous' AIG Bonuses

Despite a massive failure, subsequent government bailout, and simmering populist rage, there's apparently just no way for pay czar Ken Feinberg or Treasury Secretary Tim Geither to cut down the new $100 million round of bonuses at AIG any further. They were already reduced 20%, kids! It's these pesky bonus contracts, you see: they were made prior to the government bailout, and so current employees were "grandfathered" in. Can't do nothing about that but complain and call them "outrageous," as both Geithner and Feinberg did earlier today. Does anyone even remember that Grandfather Clauses were originally manufactured by racists to tie then-"legal" voters to their "illegal" non-white grandfathers? Elsewhere, Goldman spokesman Lucas van Praag told those speculating as to the how astronomic CEO Lloyd Blankfield's bonus would be that "performance speaks for itself," adding another pithy asshole-ism to his long list of withering rebuttals. [WSJ]

Sundance Standout Catfish Has a Taker

Deadline Hollywood's perennial early-scooper Nikki Finke has one more "TOLDJA!" to put in her back pocket: Rogue Pictures has apparently put down $1 million or more to wrangle the Sundance hit onto American (and other assorted Anglophone, non-Australian "territories") screens. And apparently Rogue has enlisted Rush Hour director Bruce Ratner to help polish the indie kimberlite into a veritable diamond of the silver screen. Per Finke's insider: "He's a particpant because he'll help to finish the final product since it's still rough. He'll refresh it." [DH]

Related: The Twenty Very Best Movies at Sundance 2010

Elin and Josefin Nordegren Repurpose The Parent Trap

According to two "reports" issued today by a certain site named RadarOnline who's owned by the same company that owns the National Enquirer, Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren are totally getting back together. Contrary to the world thinking that Elin was going to divorce the bastard, she's actually dropping that expensive divorce lawyer and Tiger is going back on tour! (Trophy husband? Heh.) Everything is right with the world. What really interests us here is the fact that Elin has a twin, Josefin, and she apparently doubled as Elin to fool the press/papparazzi while Elin was maybe at Tiger Woods' sex rehab maybe making up with him. Again according to RadarOnline, Josefin even took the kids to SeaWorld, maybe posing as Elin! Given the parallels to a certain Disney flick concerning twins united in a quest to save a divorce, we think we smell the narrative that RadarOnline is onto. Now there's a role that will really turn Lindsay Lohan's career around. [FoxNews/NYP]

Killed-Off Lost Actress Finds New Home in House

Cynthia Watros, whose likable character Libby Smith was killed off of Lost because it just so happened the writers were about to kill off an unlikable character and, well, they were shit "out of story" for Libby, so why not just kill her off? It really did "ratchet up the emotional stakes of the rest of the season." Anyway, now Watros had found a gig on House as the first ex-wife of Dr. James Wilson (Robert Season Lennon in real life). Since Wilson had two more ex-wives after Watros' character, we assume she comes back into his life much in the same way she's going to come back into Lost's life in the second half of the ongoing final season. To move along those plodding plotlines, that is. [EW/Ausiello Files]

The Best of NYC Billboards in Recent Memory

A federal appeals court ruled today that it was totally fine for the City of New York to impose limits on the number of billboards near roads and parks. That might seem bad and anti-free-speech-y, but it's actually good, because the suit was originally lodged by a number of big corporations like Clear Channel that market billboards. So this is a victory for the Small People Who Can Afford Big Billboards? NYC! NYC! NYC! Anyway, we thought we'd celebrate the occasion by revisiting a few of our favorite billboard stories, ones paid for both the Big and Small people of this Big Apple.

[jump] YaVaughnie Wilkins had a dream, and that dream involved a big billboard...

1) YaVaughnie Wilkins, upset that her former man (Oracle president Charles Phillips) left her for... his own wife, spends $250,000+ on a number of billboards around the country and in our very own Midtown West. [picture of Billboard/http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2010/01/is_revenge_worth_250000_and_pu.html]

2) Weatherproof uses President Obama as a celebrity endorsement on a big Times Square ad. Without his permission, of course. "A Leader in Style," indeed. [picture/http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2010/01/white_house_upset_over_another.html]

3) A mildly tasteless ad for Jet airways Photoshops (maybe they used MS Paint, though, it's really not graphic design magic we're talking here) a bindi onto the Statue of Liberty's forehead. Because they fly to India or something. In their defense, they say she was already wearing a sari. [picture/http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/05/lady_liberty_gets_a_bindi_1.html]

4) A big billboard advising us to keep our chins up in this recession because great things have happened in a recession before and will in the future is donated by an "anonymous East Coast donor who was depressed about how the country was reacting to the economy's tailspin." Hm. [picture/http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2009/07/americas_keep_calm_and_carry_o.html]

One Small Step for Womankind, One Big Step for Jill Goodwin

The Letterman Show has added a female writer named Jill Goodwin to its team, which means, I assume, that there is now one total woman on the Letterman Show's writing team. There was a bit of a debate about the lack of women writers on late night comedy shows a while back, which sort of retreated into the background, what with this whole Jay Leno-Conan O'Brian debacle. Perhaps it will live once again? Anyway, check out the gal's Twitter and judge for yourself: "Made eye appt. to get fitted for prescription 3D glasses." Us 2!

Letterman Show Adds a Female Writer [NYT/Media Decoder]

Paterson: Wall Street Isn't Bailing Out New York State This Year

The future is looking even dimmer than expected in the yearly boondoggle that is the New York State budget-balancing game. According to a statement released today by Governer Paterson, the budget deficit has risen by $750 million, totaling up to a fat $8.2 billion. How much is that winning lotto ticket worth? And why isn't Wall Street coming to the rescue?

[jump] Excerpt: "Financial sector bonuses aren't going to bail us out this time."

That's right, folks, the people of this good state just can't count on the financial wizardry of AIG, Citigroup, and Goldman to work their magic this year. In years past, they've been all too ready to throw a golden lifesaver to this bungling state. Yep, they sure did bail us out of some crazy kerfuffles in the past. Not this year, people, though. No way, nosiree. Damn that newfangled pay czar down in DC, imposing all those silly bonus restrictions! In other news, the state budget isn't the only bankrupt thing in Paterson's life right now.

Gov: NY Budget Deficit Could Reach $8.2B [NYP]